This is really disturbing and also kind of gross.

This blog is not dead!

It's just resting! I think I put this baby to sleep on my behalf, because Mama is tired.

But we are reawakening and there will be more action in this space while I continue the wildly humorous attempt to ace the whole time-management thing, which, wish me luck!

Here are some things that happened during the nap:

1. Some folks found my blog by Googling "every 20 minutes a child is diagnosed with a mustache," "guy holds himself up on pole," "I love Britney's vagina," and "you're not circumcised?" I would like to meet all of these people.

2. I had a freakin' mammogram. I just had a baby and now I'm getting mammograms. I am old. Also, there was a framed photo of Bette Midler in the exam room.

3. My friend Mara threw the most awesome birthday party ever. She showed Can't Buy Me Love in the Tribeca Grand hotel's screening room. All who attended participated in the final cafeteria scene's slow-clap.

4. I met my niece, whose male-patterned baldness is growing in nicely and who wears a bathing suit with strawberries on it. She's sweet as sugar.

5. My family lost a beloved uncle, two great aunts, and a dog; we had to cancel Stefen's first birthday party; Josh spent five days in the hospital. Most of these things happened within six days of each other.

6. I have been walloped by an overbearing amount of stress that I anticipated but am not handling well. Josh and I have been hit hard by the economy and I am working all. the. freakin'. time, on top of momming and trying to keep all the necessary life balls in the air. (Heh. I said "life balls.") I am spread way too thin and it all feels like too much for one person.

7. One thing I have gladly, gladly added to my life, however, is Parentables. It's TLC's brand-new parenting blog, and yours truly is posting for them every Wednesday. Not only am I jazzed beyond belief that somebody is paying me to write, it's also allowing me to approach the whole momming thing more clearly. Writing about raising Stefen and all that entails is helping me to organize my muddled brain and move forward with intention. And it's challenging my most acute professional fear: that I'm not an ideas person. It's always been that if you give me an idea, I can run with it, but coming up with something original and valuable has never been my strong suit. It's time to think big, and this is a really great outlet for me. You can see what I've written so far here.

8. Smokey Robinson hugged me. Smokey Freakin' Robinson!

9. I won an argument with an insurance company, got out of jury duty for the next four years without even going to the courthouse to plead my case, and tracked down the ass in Glendale, California, who stole the number of my unspent Macy's gift certificate and got my money back. Take that, The System! And criminals!

10. I dressed my son as Gargamel for Halloween. I am determined to make my nostalgia Stefen's nostalgia.

I'll post pictures soon. The boy is growing like a weed and thinks it's hilarious when I drop things. I'm so exhausted and uncoordinated lately that the kid should be laughing his head off.

For those of you who are still here reading this long-dormant space, thanks for sticking around.

I'm very glad my alarm went off.