Homeland insecurity
"Listen to the message and tell me what you think," Josh said.
I pressed Play.
"Hello. This is a message for Josh Banks. This a8!w3rn.zx9@#0suj Homeland Security a0dv-=23rioscikj residence cp9v8q[09ejlckv investigation advj3q'flkz'c;vlkapdfg9aksdf November 15, 2006."
So.
Answer me this, please: When you get a static-riddled message on your answering machine and the only clear, audible words are "Homeland Security," "investigation" and "residence," do you panic? Because I panicked.
We have several theories:
1. It was a prank, which goes to show you how dipshitted a person would have to be to pose as a Homeland Security agent.
2. It is a random check. Josh *69ed the call and it came from Nassau County on Long Island. (Two thoughts on this, however: Josh doesn't think you should be able to *69 Homeland Security. But my friend James had an uncle who worked for Homeland Security, and his office was in Nassau County. James thinks you can *69 absolutely anybody.)
3. Somebody in our building is being investigated.
These could be plausible, or the Feds are coming after us because our garden has become such an eyesore that it's being declared a Federal Disaster Area. But if that were the case, wouldn't we be getting calls from FEMA, then?
So I ask you: Why do you think the Department of Homeland Security might be investigating my residence? This could be a very fun — and deeply troubling — exercise.
I pressed Play.
"Hello. This is a message for Josh Banks. This a8!w3rn.zx9@#0suj Homeland Security a0dv-=23rioscikj residence cp9v8q[09ejlckv investigation advj3q'flkz'c;vlkapdfg9aksdf November 15, 2006."
So.
Answer me this, please: When you get a static-riddled message on your answering machine and the only clear, audible words are "Homeland Security," "investigation" and "residence," do you panic? Because I panicked.
We have several theories:
1. It was a prank, which goes to show you how dipshitted a person would have to be to pose as a Homeland Security agent.
2. It is a random check. Josh *69ed the call and it came from Nassau County on Long Island. (Two thoughts on this, however: Josh doesn't think you should be able to *69 Homeland Security. But my friend James had an uncle who worked for Homeland Security, and his office was in Nassau County. James thinks you can *69 absolutely anybody.)
3. Somebody in our building is being investigated.
These could be plausible, or the Feds are coming after us because our garden has become such an eyesore that it's being declared a Federal Disaster Area. But if that were the case, wouldn't we be getting calls from FEMA, then?
So I ask you: Why do you think the Department of Homeland Security might be investigating my residence? This could be a very fun — and deeply troubling — exercise.
posted by Marla at 4:36 PM
3 Comments:
I think Simon le Bon totally dropped a dime on you.
Ha! I think you're right.
I once asked him, because I couldn't think of anything else to say, if he still had the pink leopard-print spandex pants he wore to his Duran Duran audition. I wouldn't blame him for turning me in to the authorities.
oh my goodness...i think i need find a new blogsite to frequent. hope it all works out for the best for you. peace.
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