Who's ready for a long weekend?!?
Because this is the kind of day it's turning out to be so far:
1. One of the reporters and I got into a conversation about Jamie Lynn Spears (but of course) and how, in a perfect world, there's no reason she should have gotten pregnant because she has all this money and access to information at her disposal. I mean, dude, use a condom; heard of 'em? So he says,
"Yeah, but come on, she's Louisiana white trash."
"She should just name her kid Cletis and let him man the Tilt-a-Whirl. Just be honest about who you are, you know?"
[he laughs] "The Tilt-a-Whirl! I love the Tilt-a-Whirl! I don't think I've ridden the Tilt-a-Whirl since I was at Neverland Ranch."
My jaw dropped. "Wait a minute: What?!?"
[nonchalantly] "Yeah, I rode the Tilt-a-Whirl. And the Spider. It was so much fun."
2. Then Stephanie, Lauren and I had this e-mail exchange:
LAUREN: Any fun plans for New Years anyone?
ME: Nothing special. Fabio's going to come over and cook a casserole for us, and then we're going to ice down our apartment floor and skate a little. You?
LAUREN: Going to take tons of drugs and go to a rave.
STEPHANIE: Is Fabio going to make your dinner with I Can't Beeeleeve It's Nut Butter Spray?
ME: Well, I certainly hope so, because that's why we hired him. Plan B was Florence Henderson, who was going to cook with Wesson, but we were really gunning for something buttery and decadent.
LAUREN: Am I the only normal person in this family?
ME: Did I mention Fabio was going to use goose?
3. And now I'm listening to "The Girl From Ipanema" on my iPod.
4. I just realized Stephanie's spelling turns I Can't Believe It's Not Butter into an entirely different product. Heh. Nut Butter. I'm 12.
Happy New Year, everyone!
******
Oh! Stephanie had this dream recently, which I would like to share with all of you, as it's both crazy and immensely enjoyable:
So last night I had this dream that I went shopping at Macys. I was walking around and couldn’t find any decent clothing to fit me. But then, in my hour of darkest despair, I stumbled upon a new section at Macy’s. They had an entire floor dedicated to plus-sized women but the entire floor had a name… Big Momma. Everywhere you went were, I’m serious, tasteful neon signs that said “Big Momma.” Every outfit I could ever wish existed in plus size was there. The clothes were so beautiful and legitimately fashionable. And everything was beautiful made and reasonably priced and tres chic. Everything was decorated so tastefully – in grey silks with lots of candelabras and glass and plush seating. It was like a Fatty Eden.
It did get weird though when the dressing rooms were like dorm rooms, opulent ones at that, and they made you spend the night in your clothes to see if you liked them in the morning. Not a bad idea though. However you couldn’t sleep in the dresses, only in the bustiers (which were really comfortable I may add). And sparkly. And they had really good support.
I think that allowing shoppers to spend a night in new clothes before committing to buying them is genius.
1. One of the reporters and I got into a conversation about Jamie Lynn Spears (but of course) and how, in a perfect world, there's no reason she should have gotten pregnant because she has all this money and access to information at her disposal. I mean, dude, use a condom; heard of 'em? So he says,
"Yeah, but come on, she's Louisiana white trash."
"She should just name her kid Cletis and let him man the Tilt-a-Whirl. Just be honest about who you are, you know?"
[he laughs] "The Tilt-a-Whirl! I love the Tilt-a-Whirl! I don't think I've ridden the Tilt-a-Whirl since I was at Neverland Ranch."
My jaw dropped. "Wait a minute: What?!?"
[nonchalantly] "Yeah, I rode the Tilt-a-Whirl. And the Spider. It was so much fun."
2. Then Stephanie, Lauren and I had this e-mail exchange:
LAUREN: Any fun plans for New Years anyone?
ME: Nothing special. Fabio's going to come over and cook a casserole for us, and then we're going to ice down our apartment floor and skate a little. You?
LAUREN: Going to take tons of drugs and go to a rave.
STEPHANIE: Is Fabio going to make your dinner with I Can't Beeeleeve It's Nut Butter Spray?
ME: Well, I certainly hope so, because that's why we hired him. Plan B was Florence Henderson, who was going to cook with Wesson, but we were really gunning for something buttery and decadent.
LAUREN: Am I the only normal person in this family?
ME: Did I mention Fabio was going to use goose?
3. And now I'm listening to "The Girl From Ipanema" on my iPod.
4. I just realized Stephanie's spelling turns I Can't Believe It's Not Butter into an entirely different product. Heh. Nut Butter. I'm 12.
Happy New Year, everyone!
******
Oh! Stephanie had this dream recently, which I would like to share with all of you, as it's both crazy and immensely enjoyable:
So last night I had this dream that I went shopping at Macys. I was walking around and couldn’t find any decent clothing to fit me. But then, in my hour of darkest despair, I stumbled upon a new section at Macy’s. They had an entire floor dedicated to plus-sized women but the entire floor had a name… Big Momma. Everywhere you went were, I’m serious, tasteful neon signs that said “Big Momma.” Every outfit I could ever wish existed in plus size was there. The clothes were so beautiful and legitimately fashionable. And everything was beautiful made and reasonably priced and tres chic. Everything was decorated so tastefully – in grey silks with lots of candelabras and glass and plush seating. It was like a Fatty Eden.
It did get weird though when the dressing rooms were like dorm rooms, opulent ones at that, and they made you spend the night in your clothes to see if you liked them in the morning. Not a bad idea though. However you couldn’t sleep in the dresses, only in the bustiers (which were really comfortable I may add). And sparkly. And they had really good support.
I think that allowing shoppers to spend a night in new clothes before committing to buying them is genius.
Labels: dirty, family, pop culture, work
posted by Marla at 11:46 AM
2 Comments:
I bet when Blanket is allowed outside he's first in line at the Tilt-A-Whirl. It probably reminds him of the days he was held upside down outside a hotel balcony.
Every blanket's a blessing, you know.
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