You can't write a song about orange; nothing rhymes with it.

This just in, from my friend Lisa:

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I am so into the “overheards” lately. The other day on Bedford Avenue in unfortunate Williamsburg which I unfortunately call home, one of the izod-wearing no-asses (boy, in this case) was barking into his cell phone, “Like, I achieve erection but NOT orgasm!”

I just got back from Boston, where the ice cream is nearly perfect and absolutely shames everything NYC has to offer in the frozen dairy department. Just sayin’.

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Along those lines, Boston has supreme foliage.

On the way into work this morning, I was listening to Johnny Cash’s “Man in Black”:

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black
Why you never see bright colors on my back
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone
Well, there’s a reason for the things that I have on
I wear the black for the poor and the beaten-down
Livin’ in the hopeless, hungry side of town
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime
But he’s there because he’s a victim of the time
I wear the black for those who’ve never read
Or listened to the words that Jesus said
About the road to happiness through love and charity
Why, you’d think he’s talking straight to you and me

And while it’s not a new realization or anything, it occurred to me that this was one more reason why Johnny Cash will always be cooler than anyone else. The man was so generous with his ideals, he wore them around. I, on the other hand, am not so sartorially giving. See, if I were to sing a song about why I wear so much black, it would go more like this:

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black
Darkness covers my whole body, front to back
It’s not that I’m afraid of colors or of certain trimming
It’s just that black is so completely slimming
I wear the black to cover up my rolls
To smooth down drooping, for I’m getting old
I wear it when I’m bloated, to deny my water weight
Or just to cover what I recently ate
I wear it for the better of mankind
Who doesn’t want to see my huge behind
I wear it as a visual distraction for the human eye
And thus it will be the only color I will buy

Yet another reason why I a) am shallow; and b) will never have a record deal.

Josh has a major exam at the end of the summer, so I've been helping him study. We're on a strict regimen: He reads for a couple hours, then we discuss what he just read because verbal reiteration helps memory, and then he sends a synopsis to his advisor when he finishes the book, and then we make flash cards for each book before he starts the next one. (There are 12 in all.) Not only am I learning a ton about economic upheaval in 1970s England (inflation was 25% in 1975!), but I have grown horrified that I never studied this effectively when I was in school. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess, but only if you're wearing cuter glasses.

Also, I fixed the "comments" setting on my blog, which, being often doltish, I didn't know existed, so you no longer have to register to leave a message. For the scores of you clamoring to write in, hop to it!