People are people. So.
A List of People I Have Recently Seen and Was Tempted to Photograph But Not Talk To
1. Medium-height woman. Brown hair. This mullet, but curlier. Wearing oversize T-shirt. On oversize T-shirt: two (2) peanut M&M's, one (1) slogan stating "TOTALLY NUTS!"
2. Man of unknown age sitting on a crate on the corner of 23rd Street and 8th Avenue. Age undetermined because he was wearing a mask. The mask was a Boba Fett helmet. Man wearing Boba Fett helmet was playing the accordion.
3. Doyle from Gilmore Girls. Clearly on a date. Sitting at a table in a bistro next to myself and my two lovely friends Molly and Nadia. Reached across table and proceeded to stroke the arm of blonde sitting across from him. I could not decide if he was irked or amused that I kept staring at him, hoping he'd entertain us with some Krav Maga.
4. Man in Union Square. Multicolored clown wig. Long grey trench coat. Aluminum foil wrapped around wrists.
5. Woman in ladies' restroom in Penn Station Amtrak waiting area. Woman could not be bothered to bring luggage into bathroom stall with her. Bags propped in entry of stall, holding door open. I walked past to my stall, next to hers. Just as she was wiping.
6. Woman walking ahead of me up stairs leading out of subway station. Very short skirt. Very short skirt. Like, belt-short. First spotted: ass cheeks. Then spotted: vagina. Could not avoid vagina, as it was directly above me. Shockingly, despite having just seen a grown woman wipe herself in a public-restroom stall, this is the first Random On-the-Street Vagina I have seen in 11 years of living in New York. I figure that makes my odds of spotting offending genitalia pretty favorable (i.e., low), considering.
It was unplanned, but I am aware that this post has veered into gynecological territory. Would it have been more entertaining if Vagina Girl had been wearing the Boba Fett helmet?
1. Medium-height woman. Brown hair. This mullet, but curlier. Wearing oversize T-shirt. On oversize T-shirt: two (2) peanut M&M's, one (1) slogan stating "TOTALLY NUTS!"
2. Man of unknown age sitting on a crate on the corner of 23rd Street and 8th Avenue. Age undetermined because he was wearing a mask. The mask was a Boba Fett helmet. Man wearing Boba Fett helmet was playing the accordion.
3. Doyle from Gilmore Girls. Clearly on a date. Sitting at a table in a bistro next to myself and my two lovely friends Molly and Nadia. Reached across table and proceeded to stroke the arm of blonde sitting across from him. I could not decide if he was irked or amused that I kept staring at him, hoping he'd entertain us with some Krav Maga.
4. Man in Union Square. Multicolored clown wig. Long grey trench coat. Aluminum foil wrapped around wrists.
5. Woman in ladies' restroom in Penn Station Amtrak waiting area. Woman could not be bothered to bring luggage into bathroom stall with her. Bags propped in entry of stall, holding door open. I walked past to my stall, next to hers. Just as she was wiping.
6. Woman walking ahead of me up stairs leading out of subway station. Very short skirt. Very short skirt. Like, belt-short. First spotted: ass cheeks. Then spotted: vagina. Could not avoid vagina, as it was directly above me. Shockingly, despite having just seen a grown woman wipe herself in a public-restroom stall, this is the first Random On-the-Street Vagina I have seen in 11 years of living in New York. I figure that makes my odds of spotting offending genitalia pretty favorable (i.e., low), considering.
It was unplanned, but I am aware that this post has veered into gynecological territory. Would it have been more entertaining if Vagina Girl had been wearing the Boba Fett helmet?
posted by Marla at 2:13 PM
2 Comments:
Why is the ladies' room in the Amtrak part of Penn Station so soul-killing? It's not the dirtiest restroom I've ever been in, but it may be the one I'd least like to return to. I haven't had your experience, but I can imagine it... And I'm sorry. As for the subway thing, I am closing my eyes on my way up the steps from now on.
What if Vagina Girl had a li'l Boba Fett figurine sticking out of her...vagina? And Li'l Fett was wearing a tiny t-shirt that said, "It's not a bald spot, it's a solar panel for a Mandalorian sex machine!"
Then you'd have something to blog about.
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