You know what? Shrimp is good too.

Things are markedly un-newsy at the moment. Life is notably busy, but nothing too newsy. Lots of freelance work in my lap. Good travel starting this weekend (Fire Island tomorrow, Northern Michigan next week, Portland and Seattle the first weekend in August, awesome awesome blossom). Lots of good things happening. So far, I'm having a killer summer. But I think nothing will be newsy until I actually do these things. At the moment, all I have is a list a kilometre (let's be European today!) long of tedious chores and errands to do and I keep getting derailed, so they remain un-chored and mal-erranded and I can't think of anything else except all my unfinished business. But, again, it's hardly noteworthy. I'm sure you really don't want to hear about how long it's been since I've dusted and how much the dust is stressing me out, unless you want this blog to be voted Seriously Crappy. (In what election would this vote occur, I wonder? Am I even making sense anymore?)

So herewith, instead, some thoughts:

1. Why is it, after all these years, that I have not learned to take a pen to the bathroom with me? It's the only place where I remember anything. Today, for instance, I rememberd five important things that I have to either do or pack before my trips — things I was breathlessly grateful I'd finally remembered because I'd be screwed if I hadn't — and by the time I got back to my desk, I only remembered two. (One of them was to pluck my eyebrows.) Feel free to make suggestions in the comments section of whatever the hell I might be forgetting; you're bound to do a better job than I am, and I'm losing my mind trying to remember what I forgot. My brain, auld lang syne.

2. Does anybody care about Eva Longoria?

3. Nicole Richie managed to get pregnant. She doesn't have enough density to absorb moisture, but she's absorbed a fetus. The human body, it makes no sense. Also, sad.

4. Am I a total wackadoo for not pre-ordering the last Harry Potter book? I truly enjoy the experience of walking into a bookstore and walking out with something (weird OCD thing: I can't leave without three books; I don't know why three, but it's always three, unless it's a Harry Potter book, in which case, one). And yes, I am one of Those People. I freakin' love Harry Potter. Neville is going to save the day, I just know it.

5. The only residual grossness I have left from Sinus Clusterfuck 2007 is a persistent cough. What's annoying about this cough, as opposed to the annoyingness found in all other coughs, is that I feel perfectly fine otherwise, and the cough is an empty cough that serves no purpose. Nothing is breaking up, nothing spurns it on, I just randomly find myself coughing in fits that neither tea nor Ricola soothe in any way. And then it stops. So I ask you to please pass along any remedy at all for such a stupid ailment. Cuz really. It's ridiculous. Again, the human body, it makes no sense.

6. The people who work at the shop downstairs where I get my salads for lunch cannot determine the difference between Ranch and Blue Cheese dressings. Nothing ruins a salad more than when you think you're getting Ranch and you realize you've dumped Blue Cheese on it. It's like ordering the perfect coffee table (glass, rounded edges) and the company delivers a lawn jockey.

7. Jet Skis are bigger than you'd think.

8. I can't wait for the Sex and the City movie to come out. I don't have HBO so I had not seen a single episode until my friend Maria loaned me her DVDs about two years ago. I loved it. Lurved it. Lürphed it. It's odd, though, because I found the characters often painfully annoying, I hated Carrie and can't stand Sarah Jessica Parker (her face is that of a foot), most of the clothes were hideous, I thought Berger was a whiny mess, I prefer Aidan to Big, I think Kim Cattrall is a wretched actress but my very favorite scene in the entire series is the one where she shaves her head because her acting was so good, and I related to absolutely nobody and nothing in the entire shebang. Who wants to see the movie with me?

9. One of my more objectionable qualities is that I'm extremely indecisive yet I have zero patience for people who can't make up their minds.

10. My in-laws just returned from a trip to Alaska. They brought Josh and I some wonderful gifts, but they also bought me a bracelet made out of reindeer bones. The reindeer was not killed for the purpose of my jewelry — it was a fossil or some such thing, I guess, but the point is that it was pre-deceased — but I can't seem to get my head around wearing it. Here's the thing: I don't eat red meat but I'm not a vegetarian; I refuse to wear suede and fur but I have leather shoes and handbags; I don't eat most shellfish because I won't eat anything that looks like it's going to crawl off my plate but I believe clam chowder should be its own food group. I realize that all of this classifies me as a complete hypocrite, which is why I would never claim to be a vegetarian or join PETA or anything (I'm not a hypocrite; I'm complex!), but for some reason, I'm having a moral dilemma wearing this bracelet. I'm not even sure if I think it's cute, but something tells me it is. So my question is this: Am I completely crazy?

Have an excellent weekend!